


Bed Intruder

by rock_mafia



Series: Dog Days 'Verse [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, Transformation, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-07
Updated: 2011-03-07
Packaged: 2017-10-16 04:38:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rock_mafia/pseuds/rock_mafia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleeping arrangements.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bed Intruder

**Author's Note:**

> Crack, crack, crack. These stories have no purpose, other than to amuse me. Hopefully, they're amusing you too. Please don't forget to leave me some luuuurve, because that's **my** crack.
> 
> * * *

The sound of the toilet flushing pulled Rodney from his thoughts. Turning, he watched as John trotted out of the bathroom, looking immensely pleased with himself, tongue lolling to the side.

"Did you just…?"

John gave him the dog version of a grin and took a great leap, landing on the bed. He scratched at the blankets, turned around a few times and then flopped down against the pillows, heaving a great sigh.

"Oh no. No, no, no. We agreed to take care of you and part of that agreement was that we would stay here to give you a little normalcy, but I did not agree to share my bed with a dog!"

John lifted his head and growled.

"The big, bad wolf routine will not work with me, Sheppard." Rodney slammed the laptop closed and stood. He pointed at the floor. "Down."

John bared his teeth and Rodney flinched a little, but he refused to budge.

"No. You drool bad enough when you're human. I don't want to drown in doggy drool." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at John. John glared back. Rodney debated baring _his_ teeth because that seemed to scare his minions well enough, but he doubted it would have any effect on John. Most likely, it would just make him look like a tool, so he stuck to glaring.

"I'm serious, John. Get down. I'm taking the bed. I'm the guest, after all."

"Woof," John said. He rolled over and scooted over on the bed a little. "Woof."

Rodney sighed. This was probably as good as it was going to get. "Fine," he muttered, running his hands through his hair as he made his way into the bathroom to change. "You keep your gigantic paws to yourself though! And the first time I get a mouth full of hair, you're going out on the balcony!" He called.

John just growled and flopped over.

When Rodney returned, he sat down on the edge of the bed, eyeing John warily. "Listen, I'm really not a dog person and I've certainly never shared my bed with one, so we should probably agree on a few… terms." Grabbing an extra pillow, he dropped it into the middle of the bed. "This over here is my half of the bed. I'll stay over here, you stay over there and we don't have to worry about anybody's face accidentally getting eaten off in the middle of the night. Does that sound reasonable?"

John seemed to mull it over, his ears twitching thoughtfully. After a moment, he stood and pawed at the area on his side of the pillow before he laid down, looking at Rodney through his doggy lashes.

"Good," Rodney said. The _boy_ was unspoken, but John still nipped at him.

.::.

Rodney woke up in the middle of the night with a foot digging into his side. _Paw_ , he reminded himself, because dogs didn't have feet. Turning over onto his side, he squinted in the darkness and reached out to shove John.

"Grrrr."

"Oh, shut up," Rodney grumbled. "I thought we agreed that you would stay on your side of the bed," he complained. John whined and dug his paw in deeper. At some point, the pillow that had been used as a barrier had been thrown to the floor, but Rodney didn't know if that was John's handiwork or his own. It didn't matter though, because he certainly wasn't moving to get it.

After a moment, John must have grown bored of his 'poke the crap out of Rodney' game, because the pressure against his side disappeared. There was a little shuffling as John repositioned himself before he flopped back down, his furry back pressed against Rodney's side.

Rodney couldn't believe it; three times smaller than his usual form and an even bigger bed hog.

Go figure.

.::.

When Rodney woke up the next morning, it was to a heavy weight on his legs. At some point during the night, John had migrated down to the foot of the bed and sprawled out across his feet. He wiggled his toes experimentally and John whined, his eyes fluttering open sleepily.

"Thanks," Rodney said, because his feet were pretty toasty.

John gave a gruff 'woof' in response and lowered his head to his paws.

As much as he hated to, Rodney pulled his feet out from under John's warm body and sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face tiredly. All in all, the night wasn't horrible after that first paw-in-the-side incident. Surprisingly, John was a decent bedmate, even if he had hogged in the beginning. At least there was no drool.

"Coffee," Rodney said drowsily. "Food?"

John's ears perked up and almost at once, he was leaping off the bed. Prancing over to the door, his tail wagging, he looked back at Rodney impatiently.

"Okay, okay." Reaching for his discarded pants, he pulled them up quickly and slipped his shoes on before following after John.

They'd made it through the first night and nobody had lost a limb. Maybe this whole best-friend-being-a-dog thing wouldn't be so awful after all, Rodney thought.

John barked from farther down the corridor, pulling Rodney from his thoughts. He was wagging his tail impatiently, tongue hanging out of his mouth. Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "I'm coming. Hey…" he stopped and sniffed the air. "Do you smell sausage?"

John barked happily.

Nope, it wouldn't be too bad at all.


End file.
